I tried to do everything right, especially since I waited for this baby for what seemed to be forever. My sweet baby came and was a fussy, little guy. I still call him sweet because he is my baby and even though his temperament was not easy, he was and still is my little man.
I wanted to let other parents out there know that I understand what it is like to have a fussy baby. I remember always having anxiety when we would go out if I ever risked doing that because I never knew when he would have a “break down.” When that break down came, my heart would race and I would get into survival mode. There was no gradual crying. It went straight to loud, screaming crying. The stress this caused my partner and I was intense. We eventually got through it with a strict schedule and then we were more flexible as he got older.
The whole point is…if you are going through this you are not alone. It can be very stressful and can really bring you down. It did for me and then gradually got better. We tried a lot of different things. As mentioned, we really worked on a consistent schedule, we used different swaddles and sleep sacks, white noise, darkening his room, a bedtime routine, etc. Did all these things fix his fussiness and sleep associations? No, but they helped. We eventually sleep coached. I know that some people don’t believe in this, but we did what we had to do. That’s all we could do. We had to try…for our baby boy.
It would have helped if we had support from family and others, but we didn’t. That made it harder. We would get comments about his early bedtime and about how “serious” our baby was during that time. As first time parents, you don’t want or need to hear that. You are trying your best. Now, I can’t speak for my husband, but I feel more confident and stronger about my decisions. I did whatever I could to help my baby sleep. This included car rides on a daily basis. I know…I know…you shouldn’t get your baby used to this, but guess what…if baby don’t nap, baby don’t sleep at night and baby wake up very early in the morning. Not healthy for baby and not healthy for mommy or daddy, so eventually you work on these sleep associations.
So basically, if you have a fussy baby or even toddler…try different things and see what works and know that you are not alone. Am I an expert? No, but I’m just sharing my experience. You do what you need to do. Have some compassion for yourself. I wish I did. I’m still working on it.